“THE ANNUAL WARRIOR MARATHON FOR SENIORS: HAGGLING YOUR PROMOTION PACKAGE WITH COMCAST!!!—IN EUGENE OREGON”

Tulips

(SATIRE IS OUR MIDDLE NAME!!)

 

I know that every senior,unless you’re rich, goes thru various annual rituals every season; in Spring, the ritual of buying or trying on the swim suit, seeing if you’ve gained weight and bargaining with Heaven as to HOW MUCH poundage you would allow to be gained, or not.–bargaining as to HOW MUCH FOOD you would cut out to lose said poundage..

Would your diet include a certain amt. of whole-grain bagels every two weeks,or a month? HOW MANY could you get away with–And still lose weight? Whole grain and whole wheat takes more calories to digest,an advantage.

Since most of life is a bunch of merely bargaining for what you will put up with,or you won’t, or bargaining how much you’ll pay for something, (we always lose any how,but its important to tell yourself, you won)or how much trouble,boredom, abuse or crazy co-workers you can get the least of,on a job(while still earning enough to live on) —

–and who you can mate, marry, date,.or live with (includes social ties with friends) that  is at LEAST SOMEWHAT sexually attractive, interesting (but not TOO WEIRD) makes enough money (especially a male) and is affiliated with similar GOOD TRAITS also borne by your family tree,( very mechanically brilliant, academic, upper-middle class–or NOT upper-middle class) and has SOME of those traits to match with yours–

-and ALSO has the same GOALS as you do (or close; number of kids or NO KIDS, VERY ambitious, or very laid back; uptight or very loose) or you’re talking once again, someone who is the LEAST OFFENSIVE, least uncomfortable in close quarters, and the least tyrannical or crazy) and you can still stand the person after ten years, and not run crying to divorce court or outside affairs.

In other words,we slowly learn that in life, its not the very best factors in life that we aspire to, but instead the MOST TOLERABLE factors we can stand, without jumping off the 20-story building. Our goal becomes the MOST TOLERABLE, and LEAST HORRIBLE life that we can manage.

The world is populated by billions who have given up on ANY bargaining, and succumbed to a numb, non-life, existing without the least control over ANY factors in their lives; even to the point of “OK, I had a horrible childhood, so I found out, that gives me a HORRIBLE adulthood, and no matter what I do,I cannot change it.”

Science and psychiatry find more of our lives that CANNOT BE CHANGED, because  we were born into particular types of circumstances, noticing how directly one predicts the other. Diabetic families inherit diabetes, and crazy abusive parents produce totally fucked up children, who have so fucked up lives as adults.So what has this got to do,with bargaining entertainment “packages” every year with Comcast?

You lose no matter WHAT PACKAGE you re-buy.Comcast employees repeatEdly LIE TO YOU, disconnect you, fend you off from promotions over the phone(and their website) and it takes 3 or 4 hours to finally haggle down to a package with LESS MOVIE CHANNELS, for more money, but at least you have the ILLUSION that you’ve won. You’re paying more money, for less services, there is really no choice.

But at least you finally got rid of worthless movie channels full of DULL DUDS, and HBO, that creature of misery and repetitive crap-junk that you are sick and tired of. You after all, watch mostly in the low numbers, with CARTOONS, FUNNY SHOWS of cartoons, cheap kung-fu, old tv show-channels, and the occasional black and white  old sci-fi movies you’ve seen forever,and loved. 

You DON’T WANT SPORTS–OR NEWS–OR DOCUMENTARIES forever, nor do you want “reality tv” or “sales-channels–;you can’t stand “prime-time tv”, cause the best stuff comes on very late at night, or during the day..

If you’re like me,you  want to escape modern, bad tv shows, which slide off your back like garbage off a bum, and you just want “Turner Classic Movies,”cartoons, Family Guy, The Simpsons, South Park (satire) and American Dad,, old tv shows, and escape from bad new films(“50 ShADES OF GRAY”?”HOW TO BE SINGLE” the female version of “Ghost Busters” not funny at all, and cops,violence,cops, action, cops, chases-of psychopaths, more cops, gore, blood, torture, perversion,  “science-teams of cops”, cops who analyze all data. computer cops, Miami cops,  and female cops.

It makes you feel so “retro”, when we seniors got very good tv, for NOTHIN’.–BETTER shows!! —-so why should we pay high prices for cable tv? We already HAD the best tv,and it was FREE. COMCAST, GO TO HELL!!!  YOU don’t even know what REAL T.V. IS!!   It sure is NOT CABLE TV!!  And if I knew how to “steal cable” I would do it if I could. You probably deserve it for being such a ROTTEN, BAD entertainment company. –and an illegal monopoly, I am sure.

But now it’s legal to CHEAT the public,and they have to put up with it. “1984”  is here, and you have  to pay for everything, even the stuff you hate. I’d rather watch LESS CRAP, its not worth it..Bring on the cartoons, cause the world’s gotten very un-funny..As a senior, you need to LAUGH at it all.HAH HAH.

(Sandraminadotty, in Eugene Oregon, watching the older shows from “Star Trek:the next generation.”  Isn’t Commander Riker cute?)  🙂  ….

 

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“WE CAN’T GET YELP, OR ANGIES’ LIST, ONLINE, IN EUGENE OR: THE INTERNET IS A MESS!!”ARTICLES BY SENIORS, FOR SENIORS, IN EUGENE OREGON

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(DIGITAL ART NEVER TO BE PRINTED OUT_)

Well, here we are, as usual, trying to write an article for my blog, (which is mostly for seniors)but others,too,in Eugene Oregon.

Anything to help out the weary,elbow-hurting typers who spend hours every day trying to make sense of the hopelessly over-messed up Internet now messing up all our lives.NOW, seniors, aren’t you happy you’re OLD, not young, with the internet-technology and hideously made computer JUNK by Bill Gates, screwING up YOUNG PEOPLES’ LIVES??And their WORK?

Microsoft? Oracle? Word Press? “PERMANENT -ELBOW,ARM, HAND PAIN and disabilities, caused by”CLONK-CLUNK-CLUNK–“WHAPPING a keyboard that ruins your joints.and screws up your orthopedic problems?” Your doctor says,”no more typing–get dictation-ware.” “Which one?” “The program that costs 1,000’s of bucks, of course, not the “HOME VERSION” that sucks!” DRAGON.

Can you imagine doing this for a living, probably MORE THAN 40 HRS. A WEEK?(YES, gentle reader, we’ve seen seniors type,click-click–clack-clack, type over-time, and do financial computer work, get treated like PUKE by  big companies, get carpal tunnel,and when they get diabetes, ect, from old age, get thrown to the curb without the insurance they’re paid all their lives on—Yeah, this happens all the time!!

Those few seniors who were not TERMINATED by big companies, try to hack (hee hee) the mechanical work-world of today, hopelessly competing with younger, cheaper employees. –And most of us have gotten either kicked up-stairs, or fired and retired. —

This is NOT the “Age of the Worker”, its “The Age of Techno-Tyrants and Tyrant-corporations.” I would NOT BE YOUNG AGAIN,. for anything!!!Caroline and I are here to remind you seniors, how lucky you are to be facing the Grim Reaper, and not the autistic “Microsoft – SHITTER” — and you know exactly who I mean.

all I was trying to do,was find a printing shop who could copy my computer art, the digital  painting, and make a few copies, some good ones, to donate to a local art sale (for really good causes.) However, I could not get onto Yelp and get any reactions of the reviews, or find out anything else.. Essentially, YELP seem to be at a standstill, not functioning.

So, I went on to Angie’s list.but it’s more fucked up than it used to be, even though it’s free, I supposedly had a membership there, and the computer could not find it, and their phone number had answering machines, and nothing but.

In other words, I can’t use either one of these business review websites. They were hopelessly clogged up, not working, and they were floating pieces of junk only, in the overly messed up and cluttered Internet mess we are in now.so, should I resort to the old way of life, get a phone book and go through it and call up printing companies? Because the Internet at least locally, is so screwed up and so clogged up, it doesn’t work anymore?yelp is not available; Angie’s list is not working.

and I have to start using my phone book instead of the Internet, because that WEB is being spun into fantastically nonfunctioning, spiderwebs, from which none of us are now able to escape. And we certainly can’t use them for business!

I’m using Comcast. It’s supposed to be the most superior.

But how about the WEB? There isn’t another substitute for the web. This is the only one we have and it is hopelessly clogged up  along with all the companies phone systems that you can’t get through anymore.– – HEY, CHINA! Are you using the same systems we are  to do business? Somehow I doubt it. Or, at least the wiser Chinese companies  are not  doing this. But, why the hell should modern Chinese be any smarter than modern Americans? Or modern Europeans?do you suppose the young Chinese are like Zuckerberg and Bill Gates?

Really really fucked up younger people,who own everything?

“Can you get a printing company?”Caroline asks.”I’ll have to use a phone book,and call some up directly,”I reply.”my elbow-joints are screaming at me, my fibromyalgia is bad,and frankly,all of me is wearing out on this fucking computer–clack-clack–SHIT.” “You need to take a nap,” replies Carolyn, who’s my age, but less computer-oriented.–lucky girl!! 

“I need to have my head examined, for trying to be an aging computer-user!!Going on weird sites, meeting weird people from England,France, ect!!–who REALLY ARE different than we Americans. They love socialism–they dote on it!!!”  “You forgot the hacker-trolls you are so lucky to meet.” “Oh, yeah, and having ALL MY ID INFORMATION hacked into,and thrown in my face!”(True story.) “I hear the web is outta control anyhow,” sighed Caroline.

“That, my dear, is an understatement.”

WHAT would that icon of wit, Oscar Wilde, have to say about this era?”Thank God, that YOU are in it,and not me!!”-he’d reply. And with further thought–“You Americans and other white people need to retire to another WORLD; obviously the present and future is YELLOW,BROWN, and all the WHITE is getting bleached out. So much for living in the era of  COLORFUL times.”(sneer.)  Was Wilde prejudiced? He was old-fashioned British; whattdya think?

“I’m not writing, i’m closing up the blog,”I say to Caroline,”I have to 800-number Amazon.com, their software on site doesn’t work.” I’ll have to find a printer OFF the web.Fucking tennis-elbow and arthritis–I’m gonna read a book,too. River Road stinks like a lumber mill today!!” “So does the rest of Eugene,” she informs me;”High pollen count mixed with gasoline-SMOG– we seem to be getting Brown air,too.”

It’s BLACK. EUGENE is modern American too; it really stinks.Ouch!!I need to go stretch!OWW OWW!” I seriously consider making old-fashioned art for the art sale.–ONE copy.We baby-boomers are so quaint!!

(Sandraminadotty, old blogger-artist–in Eugene OR)